Broken

So many times in my life, I have felt broken. Defeated. Sad. Pessimistic. It was not hard to get to this place because life has thrown so many curve balls at me. A job I once loved was suddenly gone. A loved one died way too soon. A relationship that I poured so much energy and hope into didn't work out. A health crisis appeared out of nowhere and shook me to my core. I know that life is hard. But, being someone who is generally pretty optimistic, I can only take so many hits before it really causes my knees to buckle.  In response to these situations,  I screamed, fell down on my knees and cried out, "My God, why me? Is this a punishment for some past sin?"  

Then I became still, and listened. In some ways, I surrendered.  My faith taught me that my current situation was all apart of His plan for me. Lessons designed solely for me. So, I became quieter and trusted more. I allowed myself to become more vulnerable in new situations.  As a result, new opportunities and people entered my life, each with fulfilling lessons. In this new space , I have found the purest joy in simple tasks or situations. I have found peace and tend not to worry as much. That which interested me in the past has been given exploration time along with the emergence of new interests. Like so many others, I've always wanted purpose in my life. What I now understand is that your divine purpose may change with the seasons of your life.  I've learned to welcome those valleys because I now know being broken allows God to use you. 

God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.
~ Vance Havner

Minneapolis Museum of Art - September 2016